One of my cousin who is one of the very few readers of this blog, had reminded me since eternity to update the blog, finally I have made that wish of his come true :-)
Today, our team had gone out for lunch at some nearby place. The discussions we had there while waiting (eagerly) for food to arrive gave me a topic to blog about
They were saying that sending kids to pre-school/ playgroups will make the kids extrovert, make them socially smart,give them better ability to deal with people.
Yes, sending kids to playgroups is a good thing, they get to quench their overflowing curiosity and express their abundant energy.
But I am sceptical about the second part, making them extrovert part.
I remember myself as being an introvert since the time I know myself. I too went to a nursery/ playgroup kind of a school, but looks like it did not help :-)
I am still an introvert and not as socially smart (don't know what that means)
So Obviously, I couldn't agree with "making someone an extrovert". Being an extrovert/ introvert is part of person's nature isn't it ?
That is why they make us answer those funny questions in a personality test and finally conclude you are introvert/ extrovert etc.-
Check your personality type - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers_Briggs_Type_Indicator
I will try to express (even though I am not an extrovert) here why I appear to be talking less (This is the most popular observation people have made about me)
In the process I will bore you with speaking about myself (as I consider people speaking about themselves all the time highly boring!)
Coming back to original point of making someone an extrovert, I think even if my parents had sent me to any number of schools, I certainly wouldn't have become an extrovert.
I believe you don't make anyone anything, you just guide him/her in their journey. (Another controversial opinion of mine!)
You would find me talking less because most of the times I don't want to share my thoughts with every next person I meet.
Also, I don't agree with many of the conventional ways of thinking, then if I start talking and making my point there will certainly be an argument, as I am an argumentative person
and don't like to quit my point. Once while debating on a nth topic with one of my friends, we kept on debating and had not slept till 2am in the night! :)
Some people you meet with are not really friends, they are acquaintances, and you cannot afford to get in to an debate with them. At those time I prefer not speaking much.
Now all these people start thinking that you are (probably) dumb! Doesn't speak much, doesn't participate in discussion etc etc.
Then again I am not an extremely well-read person, so if I don't know about the topic being discussed I just keep silent as I don't like to sound stupid. As I am not an extrovert I don't get affected by the fact that I am silent.I don't find silence uncomfortable,which is a weird thing for most extroverts.
I had a friend once who was also of the same opinion - If two people meet,and they don't have anything to say to each other, they just keep quiet.There is nothing abnormal in that.
In fact its very tiring to keep having uninteresting discussions on sports and weather , just for the lack of anything to say.Of course this is the opinion of an introvert.
Yes of course being an extrovert makes you popular in the society. When you are known to people you "might" progress faster. But there are lot of people, who are successful and are introverts which is the case for any given personality type, so success is an altogether different paradigm which doesn't only depend your nature.
Many times people who are close to me especially my mom makes me talk to people, as she knows I am not going to talk on my own! I get irritated as I don't have anything to talk to..
Its not because I don't like those people but I don't have anything on top of mind to share with them, so I just keep quiet. But people get offended by silence, which is surprising for me..
With people whom I know well AND get along well, its a different story altogether, I can keep chatting all the time.That's the reason I have very limited number of friends. I consider a friend as person you enjoy talking to, spending time with etc. I don't consider mere acquaintances as friends, as a result of this filter, my "number of actual friends" is again less
The extroverts don't like to see people alone, so out of concern they get someone for you to talk to, which can be unnecessary according to introverts! :)
I googgled and found this wikipedia article on introversion.
Introversion is defined here as - "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life"
This aptly describes my nature.
What type are you ? Introvert / Extrovert ?? :-)
15 comments:
Good One! Liked the discussion!
Hey!..I agree with many points here since I am also bit of an introvert..ofcourse I am not as quiet as you!But even I have got my fair share of 'she is so quiet/reserverd' comments..The lunch point is aptly put!!you hit the nail on the head with tat one ;)
Hehe....i kind of know all the above points about u....its a pleasure that u started blogging again....chaan ahe ha !
Hey anonymous, if you really know me , identify yourself!
Nice one!!
Read your blog just now...
It felt like... I would have written everything just like you did...
Not a single sentence would have differed ! :)
Very well written indeed. Silence is also a speech.
I know who bothers you when you have lunch alone :) Just give them two minutes of silence in reply.
This one is too good!
I agree that only sending kids to playschool will not help to make them extrovert because the same happened to me too.. I am still quite introvert. But what I have experienced is that my high-school made me very much extrovert than what I was in the earlier days. There used be specific activities for this very purpose. So upto certain extent, the surroundings, school, parents play a vital role here.
I also feel that there is a thin line between being introvert and being less confident. The latter characteristic affects the former one too. Moreover, confidence should be boosted right from the pre-school days or during primary.
"I believe you don't make anyone anything, you just guide him/her in their journey. (Another controversial opinion of mine!)"
I loved this line of yours!
"Some people you meet with are not really friends, they are acquaintances, and you cannot afford to get in to an debate with them."
Completely agree. This happens so many times!
BTW Surashree, I am NOT one of the few readers of your blog as you have said. I am a regular reader! :D
Anyway, very nicely written blog! :)
@Shreyas, Madhura, Prachi,Sheetal,Pravin,Tilak and Kranti.. thanks for your comments.
@Kranti : Yes, low confidence and introversion have a thin separation line just like assertiveness and aggression.
And its hard to figure out which is which.
However a shy (less confident) extrovert would enjoy the idea of socialising with people but get nervous, whereas introvert would feel tired after sometime.
Agreed. What a perfect observation! :)
aga mich ahe anonymousB-)
People might stop sending their kids to playschool to make them extrovert after reading this blog. :P
+ Anyway its the way this world is moving .. "Having" is just OK but displaying rather advertising has more importance these days and hence the people are getting confused with the definition of being successful in life. Its the cutthroat competition which forces people to make sure that their children do not lack anything.
Thus they keep trying various ways to move ahead.
+ There are disadvantages of being an introvert and extrovert as well..
+ Their cant be a friendship unless some one of two talks and I don't think an introvert would ever be the first to talk. You may say there is no need of such an instant friendship to which I agree 100% but then every great friendship/relation starts with an little acquaintance and for that someone has to take a step ahead. (now dont say its a mutual thing)
+ A real, genuine extrovert tries to find friends which an introvert finds as very unusual/over socializing. Having acquaintances is not that bad.
Honestly I love to listen an introvert talking. Generally they dont talk much (sometimes they blog :P) but when they are in their flow its a treat to listen. I like to make them talk. :)
In all you have put your thoughts so well that I really loved our post ..
Your remarkable justification about the thin line between less confident and introvert confirms that you really have given a lot of thought about it. I liked that. so apt!
[by the way there is a thin line of difference between an extrovert and an over confident. :) ]
PS.
I just hope that cousin of yours does not have to remind you anymore! :)
@Dumpya, its hard to not comment on what you say..:) Even though I am not an extrovert. Thanks for your really loooonnng comment, and your regular readership of this blog..
@Kranti, yes I forgot , you are a regular reader too!
Yes to be on extreme edge of being either an introvert or an extrovert will prove to be disastrous, and we all are somewhere in between..
It is again proved that managing the balance of anything isn't that easy.
Will try to be more regular with this blog :)
could not really decide ..ur comment ...was that right/wrong/sarcastic ?
huh ?
If I were to write something about myself or introvert/extrovert people, it would be almost same as this post!!
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